


The Professional

by AHumanFemale



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe, Fluff, M/M, Sex Worker, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2019-01-09 11:55:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12275967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AHumanFemale/pseuds/AHumanFemale
Summary: At twenty-eight, Rafael is looking to retire.His law degree is finished and, more importantly, it’s paid for.  No crushing debt over his head, forcing him to sell his soul to get out from under it.  He’d never have to work corporate for businesses looking to crush victims with lawsuits, he’d never sit behind the defense table in the interest of his student loan payments.  Working as an escort has allowed him to do what he wanted all along - prosecution, putting dangerous people away.  His body was an acceptable offering, especially considering the enjoyment he found in the act of selling himself.  Some other day he would have to examine the part of his brain that made prostitution appealing to him but today wasn’t that day, not with the man in front of him waiting for his company.A young man who looks eager to please, much to Rafael’s delight.Just a few whispered words of praise and Dominick would melt into him.He’d bet on it.





	The Professional

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Power-Bottom-Barba (Cap_Against_The_Clap)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cap_Against_The_Clap/gifts).



> Thanks for my wonderful beta, Robin Hood. Who not only beta-ed this monster but also provided some of the best lines. (Being a professional, tables turning.) As always, she is the genius behind this operation and all faults are my own. 
> 
> Thanks to tobeconspicuous for cheerleading this and helping me brainstorm. <3
> 
> Thanks to Power-Bottom-Barba for being patient with me and for sending the prompt to begin with. You're amazing and I adore you. I really hope you like this.
> 
> For the purposes of this story, let's just suspend a whole lot of disbelief. The ages are wrong, this in the current time, and nothing about this is remotely canon. I'm not even entirely sure it's in character. But work with me, this is an AU.

 

Rafael recognizes him the second he walks in the door.  

Dominick Carisi Jr. is sitting at the bar, nursing an undoubtedly shitty American beer from a bottle.  His dark blond hair is loose and mussed, curling haphazardly in every direction.  He has a long Italian nose, a strong jaw he hadn't quite grown into.  Tall with broad shoulders.  Rafael would be willing to bet he'd played a sport at some point. The picture of the All American boy.  The photo provided to him didn't do him much justice, although he did look just as young in person.  Maybe just barely twenty-one, and Rafael might not have believed that if the bartender hadn't been willing to serve him.  

Watching was an art form Rafael had long mastered; the ability to read a room, read a person.  It had come in handy more than once, particularly in removing himself from situations he would prefer not to be in. The skill came willingly to the forefront now, watching Dominick Carisi Jr. sit by himself.  What Rafael is looking for is signs of temper, signs that he might find himself in danger later in the night.  He finds none.  Dominick smiles at the waitress, nods respectfully when she checks in on him.  Checks out the (male) bartender and looks down bashfully when he’s caught, which was likely more due to a lack of confidence rather than any internalized homophobia.  The bartender is at least ten years older than him, which Rafael feels improves his chances of success.  

At twenty-eight, Rafael is looking to retire.  

His law degree is finished and, more importantly, it’s paid for.  No crushing debt over his head, forcing him to sell his soul to get out from under it.  He’d never have to work corporate for businesses looking to crush victims with lawsuits, he’d never sit behind the defense table in the interest of his student loan payments.  Working as an escort has allowed him to do what he wanted all along - prosecution, putting dangerous people away.  His body was an acceptable offering, especially considering the enjoyment he found in the act of selling himself.  Some other day he would have to examine the part of his brain that made prostitution appealing to him but today wasn’t that day, not with the man in front of him waiting for his company.  

A young man who looks eager to please, much to Rafael’s delight.

Just a few whispered words of praise and Dominick would melt into him.

He’d bet on it.

When Rafael descends the last two steps into the crowded bar it’s already with a plan of attack.  More specifically, with a plan of evasion.  If he’s read Dominick like he thinks he has, aloof will be more appealing to him than coming onto him directly.  With that in mind, Rafael approaches the bar and comes to stand a few seats down, though clearly in Dominick’s line of sight.  He’s dressed in nice black slacks and his best lilac button up, a gift from one of his clients.  It’s far better than anything he could have afforded at the time it was given, although now he’s started to build up his collection.  The pastel purple brings out the tan in his skin, the green in his eyes.  Rafael is self aware enough to realize his own attractiveness and has no problems playing that up, especially as he feels Dominick’s eyes land on him and widen.

_ There we go.   _

He orders a scotch, neat, and revels in the bartender’s appraising glance.  An interesting prospect, but Rafael is otherwise occupied for the night and from here he can see that Dominick’s eyes are actually a warm ocean blue that makes him dismiss the bartender even faster.  The scotch is mid-range but it will suffice anyway and so he asks the bartender to start up a tab with the intention of at least one more, more if Dominick intends to keep drinking after their introduction.  The good news was that the younger man didn’t appear at all inebriated in the first place, so sharing another drink or two wouldn’t hurt anything.

Rafael had been hired by friends of Dominick’s with the explicit instructions to keep his hiring a secret.  The one night stand experience was the request - where they have a chance meeting and never meet again, with Dominick going home wondering how he got so lucky. How three college kids came up with the kind of money he charges Rafael doesn’t particularly want to know.  He’d taken the job because they paid up front and insisted it wasn’t a prank.  Their friend was starting the police academy soon, they’d said, and was looking at a long period of celibacy.  He wasn’t currently seeing anyone and they wanted to send him off with a  _ bang _ .  

Literally, in this case.  

Dominick was bisexual and out, at least among his friends. Not a virgin by any means, but at least inexperienced with men. A demographic that wasn’t exactly Rafael’s specialty but he could make do; happily, particularly, at the thought of the long legs a few feet away wrapped around his waist.  The truth was that Rafael had known he was going to accept as soon as he saw his client’s picture provided everything else checked out.

What could he say?

He’s allowed to have his own tastes.

Tastes that typically ran toward older women and younger men.

Younger men like the one sitting a few feet away, struggling to find his tongue when faced with an opportunity to speak.  It doesn’t take long for Rafael to realize that Dominick is floundering, clearly dying to say something but unable to think of a good enough line to start.  Rafael watches his consternation from the corner of his eye and fights not to smirk.  Whatever he lands on would undoubtedly be earnest but cringe-worthy so Rafael spares him the trouble of embarrassing himself. Looking disinterestedly over his shoulder, mouth turned up in a wry grin, Rafael quips, “Did they check your ID before giving you that?”

Dominick looks floored, surprised either by the acknowledgment of his existence or by the fact that Rafael was the one offering it.  It takes him a few seconds to recover and when he does it’s worth the wait.  At least for Rafael, who was expecting nothing less from someone who looks like he still goes home for dinner on Sundays.

“Uh… yeah.  Yes.  I’m allowed to drink.”

_ Allowed _ , like his mother wrote him a note.

Cute.

He realizes his mistake almost instantly and blurts out, “I mean I’m old enough to drink.  Not that… not that someone said I could.”

“Good to know,” Rafael replies easily, turning now to face him.  Dominick blushes under the attention and he finds his eyes drawn to the subtle change in his skin.  “Drinking alone?”

Dominick shakes his head.  “My friends just left.”

“Don’t tell me, it was their bedtime.”

He snorts.

“Nah, they were just going to a club.  Not my scene,” he says honestly and sets his beer down.  “I’d rather sit here and finish my drink alone than go to some glow-in-the-dark room that smells like sweat and really cheap cologne.”

This time it’s Rafael who scoffs, impressed.  Dominick sounds older than he is, like a jaded thirty-something complaining about kids and their partying.  

“I don’t blame you,” he replies honestly, appreciating the easy setup from Dominick’s nameless friends.  Friends who undoubtedly chose something Dominick wouldn’t want to do because it left him alone here in time for Rafael to show up.  “Clubs are for people who aren’t able to keep up a conversation outside of drink orders and astrological signs.”

“Says the guy who ordered scotch like it was something he needed to be congratulated for.”

He turns quickly, surprised. 

And oh, that’s  _ delicious.   _

Rafael feels his blood move faster, his mouth turn into a grudging smile.  He moves closer almost against his will.  Against his conscious decision, at least.  Because all he wants is to move closer even if it hadn’t quite occurred to him to try it.  Normally he’d flirt a little more before trying to move in but his body has other plans, as does his mouth.  The snark that wells up as he walks is reflex more than it is anything else, a natural response to the opportunity to wield it.  

“Oh, so you were paying attention,” Rafael comments knowingly and watches the flush in his skin darken.  “Of course, that’s an opinion I’d give more weight to had you been drinking something other than watered down yeast in an ugly brown bottle.”

“Yeah, because beer is the weirdest thing to drink in a bar.”

“It is if you have taste buds.”

Sonny scoffs and rolls his eyes before asking, “You got something better?”

Rafael grins and turns to the bartender, who’s still watching him with interest.  

“Can we get a Dirty Shirley, please?”

“Coming up.”

“Who’s Shirley?” Dominick asks, amused.  

“Shirley Temple.  Before both our times but I’m sure you’ve at least heard of the little girl with ringlets who likes to sing about zoo animals.”

“Are you seriously getting me a drink named after a child star?” he asks incredulously.  “Because I’m pretty sure there’s exactly no alcohol in that at all, and that’s just insulting.”

“I believe I said she was dirty,” Rafael replies as the drink is set in front of them.  Something candy pink and bubbly, garnished with maraschino cherries impaled on a red plastic sword.  Not a hint of insult played on Dominick’s expressive features, much to Rafael’s enjoyment.  “Be careful, those are dangerous.  The vodka is well hidden under the grenadine and it’s easy to have too many.”

“What?  You afraid of me getting taken advantage of?”

Rafael huffs.

“Not so much  _ afraid  _ as I am  _ hoping to _ ,” he tells him honestly and watches as it lands, lighting Dominick up from the inside out.  He offers a hand, moves a little closer.  “I’m Rafael.”

“Dominick,” he replies and takes his hand, “But everyone calls me Sonny.”

Rafael winces playfully.

“Yeah, because  _ that’s  _ going to make me feel better about our age difference,” he says honestly as he takes a little extra time to release his hand.  “But alright.  Sonny.  I suppose I can adjust.”

“Good to hear it,” Dominick -  _ Sonny  _ \- says with a smile as he takes a tentative sip and nods begrudgingly.  “Yeah, alright.  That’s not bad.”

“See?  I’m trustworthy.”

“With drinks maybe,” he allows with a shrug.  “Even still, it’s different.  Sweet. Not something I would have picked for myself.”

He raises an eyebrow.  “I’m almost certain we decided that your instincts are suspect.”

“In some things maybe,” Sonny admits but maintains eye contact for a moment too long for it to be considered platonic or socially appropriate.  He takes a long drink, emptying half the glass, before setting it down again.  

“And in others?”

“Others I’ve got a pretty good eye for.”

Rafael moves closer, pleased when Sonny leans in a little too.  

His voice is lowered to whisper when he adds, “Which is why I’m almost  _ certain  _ Richie paid you to be here.”

The shock is like a bucket of icy water over his shoulders, even if his face stays frozen in the picture of mild confusion.  

“Who?”

Sonny makes an indignant noise and takes another drink.  “Come on.  You’re so far out of my league it’s laughable, and that’s even if you had a thing for slumming it.”

“Not that I’m arguing,” he fires back and finds himself disgruntled when it doesn’t seem to faze Sonny, “But I think you’re insinuating something I should find offensive.”

“Not saying anything about the profession in general,” Sonny corrects.  “I figure, bodily autonomy and all that.  The argument against it is mostly moral unless we’re talking about someone forced into it.  Or minors, which is just plain evil.  Aside of that,  it’s typically been a losing battle to legislate morality and there’s a wealth of evidence to support that legalization would be healthier and less of a tax on the criminal justice system.  That doesn’t even include healthcare and safety for the workers themselves.”

Rafael blinks.

“You are going to be a cop, aren’t you?” he marvels under his breath and turns to finish the rest of his scotch in one long pull.  

“And how would you know that?” Sonny wonders aloud, purely for show.  They’re both fully aware that the jig is up and Rafael finds himself more disappointed than he expected.  “Don’t be too hard on yourself.  It’s not you.  It’s just that Richie is a dumbass.”

“I’m starting to agree.”

“I made the mistake of coming out to him and some other friends last week and their first question was if I’d been with a guy,” he explains.  “Which I haven’t, by the way.  And Richie, the supportive idiot that he is, offered to hire someone when I said I wasn’t looking to date before going off to the Academy.  I turned him down, of course, but his parents are richer than God Himself and he has nothing better to do with it.”

That explains it.

“If he hadn’t made that offer I wouldn’t have suspected a thing,” Sonny continues with a wan smile.  “Other than your own bad taste, anyway.  But, uh.  None of that is your problem, actually.  So I guess you get the night off?”

“What do you mean?” Rafael asks, eyes narrowed as he signals for another drink.  

“Well, obviously you don’t want to hang out with me all night.  I say take Richie’s money and run,” Sonny advises, however poorly.  “You seem like the intellectual type.  Maybe see a play or something?” 

This makes Rafael laugh. 

A real, honest to God laugh that has him nearly doubled over while his client looks on in confusion. 

“What?” Sonny asks, bewildered.  “What did I say?”

“I would hope I'm the intellectual type,” Rafael finally says, “I graduated Harvard Law two months ago.”

Sonny blanches. 

“You  _ what?!”  _

“I'll be starting as a prosecutor in a month,” he admitted, coincidentally leaving out the borough.  “Did you think this was a lifetime profession?” 

“I… I don't know!  I haven't had time to think about it that much!”

“Well, it's not.  Which I'm thankful for in moments like these.” 

Sonny grimaces.  “I'm sorry.  I handled that kind of awful, huh?”

“The opposite, probably.  Most of my clients hire me themselves and on the odd occasion that someone else hires me the client has yet to figure it out.”  He gives a wry grin.  “Until you, anyway.  You would be my first.”

“Well don't I feel special,” he says sarcastically but it has no heat.  

“You should,” Rafael assures him and sighs.  “Well, I might as well finish my drink.  Mind if I join you a little longer?” 

“No, of course not.  Sit down, come on.  You can tell me all about Harvard Law.”

Rafael raises an eyebrow but sits anyway.  “You want to hear about law school?”

“Yeah, why not?” he asks. “I mean, I'm gonna go uphold the law.  Why not learn about it?”

“Well, then.”  Rafael can't argue the logic. “What do you want to know?”

The words were like opening the floodgates. 

Sonny is full of questions.  Most of them softballs for his superior legal mind, but a few of them show insight he hadn't expected.  He's tempted to comment that Sonny's obvious intellect was wasted on NYPD but he holds his tongue.  Partly because he doesn't want Sonny to think he's insulting his chosen career and partly because he thinks Sonny could end up being a particularly good cop if given the right encouragement.  Picturing him in a uniform was instantly gratifying, as was the fact that a seemingly oblivious kid from Staten Island would be so quick witted.  

The younger man is more than willing to trade jabs with Rafael, over everything from law to politics to the best old cop shows.  Which weren't Rafael’s thing at all, by the way.  It was a total coincidence that he’s seen every episode of Baretta. It's also a total coincidence that he admits it before he realized he was going to, if only to see the quick flash of delight in Sonny's eyes.  He's embarrassed to realize how much he's enjoying this, finishing his scotch and neglecting to order a third without even realizing it.  Sonny seems to have forgotten his drink entirely, the remainder of the pink concoction melted down to a watery mess on a bar napkin.  All the better for Rafael, who so deeply enjoys the way Sonny gesticulates with every word that comes out of his mouth. It would be a shame to ruin the sight with a drink sloshing everywhere.  

When he checks his watch it's close to eleven and he finds himself reluctant to point it out, knowing that it would end the bubble the two of them were temporarily living in. He looks at Sonny’s messy hair and full lips and the bright blue of his eyes and suddenly Rafael’s mind is made up, though if he's being honest with himself it was made up over an hour ago. 

“At the risk of being the wet blanket, I think I’ll turn in,” Rafael says, sliding enough cash to the bartender to pay for both their drinks with extra for a tip.  Sonny looks up, surprised and a little disappointed as Rafael slides down from his barstool.

He’s cute.

“Oh, alright.  You have a nice night, okay?  It was great meeting you.”

Scratch that, he’s  _ adorable _ .  

“I was thinking you’d join me, Sonny,” he suggests gently, eyebrow raised in question.  The look of shock on Sonny’s face is more than worth the price of admission.  It’s immediately followed with excitement and undeniable eagerness, tempered finally with the knowledge that he still believes this is a transaction.  “If you want to, of course.  My hotel is across the street.”

“Listen, um, I don’t want you to feel like-”

“I  _ don’t _ have to,” Rafael cut in, knowing exactly where the younger man’s thoughts had gone.  “I’m inviting you because I’d like your company, Sonny. Because I want you. Not because you have horrible taste in friends who can’t think of a better way to spend their money. Understand?”

Sonny nods wordlessly.

“Good. Then come on, I've been wanting this all night and I'm not waiting any longer.”

He's never seen a man scramble to his feet so fast in his life and Rafael leads them out of the bar, smirk playing freely across his lips. 

 

**…**

 

Sonny is a ball of nervous energy shivering next to him in the elevator. Happy, handsy, nervous energy.  Rafael can feel him vibrating where their shoulders touch, the only contact they're allowing themselves as other guests find their floor and disembark from the elevator. It's not until Rafael worries about him shaking the entire car that he reaches out and grabs Sonny’s hand, linking their fingers. All it takes is one caress of his thumb over the top of Sonny's hand for the man to calm, melting into the touch with a long sigh that gets ignored by everyone but Rafael, who feels it down to the tips of his toes. 

It's all he can do to wait for the last passenger to get off and the doors to close before he's crowding Sonny into the corner of the elevator, close enough that their noses bump and he can feel the sharp draw of Sonny’s breath across his lips.  Silence reigns as the elevator jerks into motion again had either of them been relaxed they might have bumped against each other but tension held them perfectly still, even as Sonny’s eyes jump down to Rafael’s lips and his breathing picks up.

“Rafael?”

Voice rough, skin flushed pink.

“Hmm?”

“Kiss me,” Sonny whispers into the air between them, making him shiver.  “Please.”

Fulfilling a request has never been so easy.  

Not when it was all he’s been thinking of for hours, consumed with the happy surprise that was the man in front of him. 

A happy surprise who thrums like a plucked guitar string at the first touch of Rafael’s lips on his skin, placed delicately to the shallow cleft in Sonny’s chin.  Next the small shadow beneath his full bottom lip, right corner of his mouth and then, slowly, the other.  Until Rafael can hear the air in Sonny’s lungs leaving him on a groan and his hands have started to wander.  Tentatively, as though he wasn’t sure what was allowed.  What Rafael might want.  As though his own needs were secondary, even as Rafael was doing his very best to keep Sonny’s attention situated elsewhere.  

They’re interrupted by the muted  _ ding  _ of the elevator arriving on their floor and Sonny blinks a few times as though coming out of a daze.  Rafael is charmed by the sight and takes Sonny’s hand in his own and pulls him off the elevator.  His keycard is in his wallet and it takes some juggling to get to it one-handed but somehow he manages, unwilling to let go of Sonny for the few seconds it would take him.  His logical mind informs him that it’s to reduce nerves, to keep Sonny cued into him instead of retreating into his own head.  A far less rational voice decries that maybe Rafael just likes the heat of Sonny’s skin pressed so close to his own.  

He unlocks the door and lets Sonny in, just barely having time to close it again before Sonny is on him. 

Well.  

Trying to be. 

Really Sonny moves in to steal a kiss but Rafael isn't ready so their teeth clack together and he feels his bottom lip catch on one of Sonny's incisors. The two of them bounce off each other with matching grunts of pain and Sonny looks absolutely miserable now, blushing a deep scarlet and mumbling something under his breath. Rafael can't quite make it all out, even when he steps closer. 

“What about me being a professional?”

Sonny looks like he wants to die. 

“I said sorry.  You're a professional and I'm… this is new.”

Rafael quirks an eyebrow and tries not to laugh. 

“I'm not a professional kisser. Although, if this is how you react to professionalism I don't see the rest of our night going well.”

Sonny looks skyward for strength and Rafael takes the opportunity to step closer, to cup Sonny’s jaw in his hand and run his thumb up the length of Sonny’s cheekbone.  The sound that leaves his mouth might have been considered a laugh had he not been so nervous and Rafael draws him down closer, until they're close like they were on the elevator.  On the brink of something rather than needing to force it. He feels Sonny’s stuttered breaths against his lips and he rubs a small circle into his temple.  The clear blue eyes he's been admiring all night flutter closed and Rafael takes the moment he's being given.  

“Relax,” he orders gently and Sonny takes a deep breath. 

Rafael closes the distance between them again and for a second he's afraid their second kiss might be more of the same. Sonny is still stiff as their lips fit together but then he lets out a shaky sigh and  _ there it is _ . The younger man's mouth opens up to him and it's a good thing Rafael isn't a professional kisser because there's a chance Sonny could put him out of business with his soft, full lips slanting so gently over his own. 

“Better,” Rafael breaths as they pull away for a brief moment. “Much better.  Now come back here.”

The third kiss is just as good, the fourth even better.  The rest of them fall into a string that Rafael is no longer able to differentiate with Sonny’s long fingers at his buttons, pulling his shirt free of his waistband. Luckily Sonny is too eager now to be nervous, seemingly thrilled to be mapping out the contours of Rafael’s torso with his hands as he pushes the shirt from his body.  He's happy to let him.  It's not often Rafael spends this time being admired.  Typically by the time he and client get here they're expecting Rafael to do the work, to do the admiring.  It's not a hard task by any stretch of the imagination but it is different so he savors it. Every appreciative moan, every touch.  Every murmured curse because Sonny has found something new on his body that he particularly enjoys.  

It isn't long before Rafael is naked.  Hard and straining while Sonny kisses his neck and pulls their hips flush together.  Sonny has only managed to lose his shirt in this process.  A dark, long-sleeved Henley hat now rests on his hotel room floor.  It seems unfair but he's willing to go along with it, especially as Sonny’s hand dips to grip him at the base and start a slow pull to the top. After years of being treated like a tool rather than a participant, Rafael is more than willing to allow himself to be worshipped.  

Especially when it’s Sonny doing the worshipping.

Sonny, who regards him with something like reverence with every stroke of his hand and every whispered kiss against his neck.  It’s hypnotizing.  Rafael settles into the sensation even as he knows he should be more attentive, leaning into Sonny rather than taking control.  It doesn’t seem to bother Sonny at all, who seems content to jerk him to completion without ever taking anything for himself.  As Rafael rocks himself into Sonny’s fist, that is what bothers him.  The fact that Sonny is so giving when it’s supposed to be his job.  Pride was a terrific motivator for him and it was with his own ego in mind that he put a hand over Sonny’s to still his movement.

“I’m sorry, did I-”

“No,” Rafael says, stealing a kiss, “You were perfect.”

“You want something else?”

Sonny is cute.

“I want you,” Rafael answers simply, hands going to the button of Sonny’s pants.  “Is that okay?”

His nod is emphatic and wordless, not that Rafael needed him to actually say them to know that Sonny was okay with this.  With him parting the button and lowering the zipper, with him reaching inside to wrap his fingers around the thick length straining against the thin cotton of Sonny’s boxers.  Rafael liked to believe that he was just  _ that good  _ when a simple touch made Sonny groan and thrust forward, but really he supposes it has more to do with their age difference than anything.  That and the fact that this - sex with a man - was a new experience for him.  An experience he was hoping to ruin Sonny for forever, moving his thumb in lazy circles under the head of his cock and admiring the hitch of Sonny’s breathing in response.  

“I want to fuck you,” Rafael says finally, when Sonny is bare in front of him and he’s flushed from head to toe.  “Is that alright?”

“Yeah.  Yes,” Sonny says, tightening his grip on Rafael shoulders.  

Rafael has no problem being the more experienced of the two, happy to lead Sonny to the bed and push him gently down.  He goes easily, sitting first with his eyes drawn quickly to Rafael’s prick bobbing against his stomach.  The quick swipe of his tongue across his bottom lip has Rafael seeing stars but the time for his pleasure his later, when Sonny has gotten his.  Instead of giving in he lays Sonny back, caressing his hand from the column of Sonny’s throat down his chest and over his abdomen.  Across Sonny’s hips, down his thighs.  Slow and easy, soft and affectionate until Sonny grows antsy enough that his hips start to arch off the bed and Rafael smiles.

“Give me a minute,” Rafael orders gently.  “Let me feel you first.”

Sonny gapes at him.

Rafael suspects he isn’t the only one who’s used to the attention being elsewhere.

Knowing that, it’s easy for him to spend extra time admiring the long planes of muscle across Sonny’s torso, the surprisingly thick thighs.  The slope of his neck, the hollow of his throat.  One sensitive nipple bitten pink, the other sucked purple.  Sonny is outright begging by the time Rafael positions himself between Sonny’s legs and pushes them a little wider.  He leans away only once, to pull a small bottle of lube from his bag a few feet away.  Rafael expects to see nerves at the sight of it, and Sonny does stiffen a little, but his eyes are still eager as ever when Rafael flicks the cap open and drizzles some of the thick fluid onto his fingers.  He rubs them together, warms them up, and wraps them around the base of Sonny’s cock.

“Oh, shit,” Sonny breathes and bucks up into his grasp.  

“Sssh,” Rafael tells him, unfairly tightening his grasp and pulling upward.  “Relax.  I’ve got you.”

It only makes him whine louder.

Rafael loves it.

He loves the way Sonny gasps his name as he traces over the tightened circle of muscle at Sonny’s opening.  Sonny jerks into it, jerks away from it, and Rafael keeps his other hand on Sonny’s prick as he works.  Stroking up, pushing in.  Circling the head, delving to the knuckle.  When Sonny has acclimated to one finger Rafael instructs him to keep touching himself, devoting all his attention to opening Sonny up.  With his fingers, with his thumbs.  With Sonny’s thick accent in his ear, swearing he’s ready.  Swearing he can take Rafael as deep as he wants, as deep as he’ll go.  

Really, Rafael is only human.

He steps away to peel a strip of condoms from his bag and opens one square foil packet, noticing how Sonny’s hand on himself speeds up at the sound.  The condom rolls on easily with the lube on his fingers then he’s back between Sonny’s legs, head pressing into his open body so slowly Rafael thinks he might cry.  It’s only Sonny’s insistent arching off the bed that has him moving any faster, sliding into place with tears in his eyes and his heart in his throat.

Sonny is tight.

So, so tight.

It’s going to kill him.

Rafael can hardly breathe as he fits himself into Sonny’s body with a final roll of his hips.  Sonny’s plaintive moans are echoing in the room around them and it’s all Rafael can do to hold back, to keep himself in place while Sonny gets used to the sensation of being filled.  If he objects at all he doesn’t say, only scrabbling to bring Rafael down for a series of quick, wet kisses that make him smile even as his heart threatens to stop.  

“Please,” Sonny gasps into his mouth, biting at his lip.  “Please, Rafael.  Come on.  I can take it.”

“I know you can,” Rafael replies and he means it.  “You’re so good, Sonny.  So good for me.”

“Yes.”

“More?” Rafael asks, pulling back an inch only to slide into place again.  Sonny howls, his back bows of the bed, and then he’s asking for more again.  

Always more.

Rafael takes it easy at first.

Until he’s sure Sonny has acclimated to the sensation, has learned to like it.  Rafael feels confident that he has, eyes drawn to the hot flush on Sonny’s chest and the way his hips tilt ever so slightly up as Rafael pushes into him.  He’s pleased when Sonny starts to ask for more, both with his movements and with the ruined voice he finds only sparingly.  Only to plea to deities or to groan Rafael’s name, though admittedly one affects Rafael more than the other.  Affects him enough for him to offer rewards for its use, tilting his hips up and forward until Sonny is a babbling mess.

A babbling mess who is only able to piece together two words at a time.

Rafael.

And  _ please _ .  

He’s just hitting his stride, just learning Sonny’s body enough to recognize the agonized cries tearing from his throat as those that come when Rafael is hitting his prostate, before he realizes that he’s pushed Sonny too far.  Gone too fast.  Rafael watches as the younger man’s sac starts to draw up, as Sonny’s breathing grows fast and hard, and he knows it’s over.  

Sonny’s back arches up off the bed and then he’s coming untouched between them, fists clenched in the blankets and head tilted back.  The hard vice of Sonny’s body around him is good, it’s better than good, but Rafael is far from being done and can’t help the mild dismay that creeps over him as he watches Sonny cover himself in thick splashes of milky white come.   The noises Sonny makes are the only thing that comes close to the sight of it and Rafael’s thrusts slow to a stop as the last drops form at his slit and start to dribble down.  Sonny’s breathing is ragged and it takes him a few seconds to come back to himself but Rafael is happy to wait, pulling out and leaning back to rest on his knees while his hands rub soothing circles on the tops of Sonny’s thighs.  

“God, Rafael,” he gasps as he finds his voice again.  “Jesus Christ.”

“That’s blasphemous.”

“I’ll pray about it tomorrow,” he replies dismissively and picks his head up to see Rafael watching him, still hard.  Still throbbing insistently against his lower abdomen as his eyes keep falling to the pools of white still on Sonny’s stomach.  “You’re not… you’re not ready?”

He smirks.  

“Not quite.  Youth is wasted on the young,” he said and Sonny looks stricken.

“Lay down.”

“No, Sonny, it’s fine-”

“Lay down,” he says again, this time seriously.  Rafael takes a long look at his mouth and figures talking Sonny through a blowjob wouldn’t be the  _ worst  _ way to spend his evening… 

Except Sonny reaches for the curvy bottle on the bed next to him and Rafael finds his interest piqued, lowering himself to the mattress while Sonny scrambles up again.  Up until he’s on his knees between Rafael’s legs, peeling the condom off gently and tossing it into the trash.  Rafael thinks he might have been closer than he thought when he watches Sonny’s mouth descend to take him in, his head passing easily through Sonny’s lips and over his tongue.  It’s a struggle to keep his hips still, to refrain from chasing the hot mouth above him as it dips and pulls away again.  He remains in control enough to keep from gagging Sonny, who Rafael knows is new to this.  Who takes to the task like a duck to water, moving in tandem with his fist on the base of his dick as he bobs up and down and brings Rafael to his knees.  He pulls off before Rafael is ready, before he can stop himself from bucking up into thin air in protest as Sonny sits back.

“Can I?” he asks, waving the bottle at him.  “Can I, you know?”

Rafael takes pity on him, even as he muses that Sonny doesn’t know how to ask for what he wants.  

“Yes,” he replies easily, surprised at the wrecked sound of his own voice.  Desire is singing through his blood and his head feels light.  

“You’ll tell me what to do?”

Rafael nods, although at this point he’s willing to bet that Sonny paid close attention when it was his own body being opened and Rafael’s will take only a fraction of the effort.  Still, he spreads his legs wider to allow Sonny space to kneel between them and watches with anticipation as Sonny coats his fingers with the clear slick and lowers them to drag over Rafael’s hole.  He clenches only momentarily, a reflex rather than a reaction, and he’s surprised to see the dark thrill that passes over Sonny’s fair features.   As Sonny animatedly works him open, from one finger to three as he learns and adapts to his lover’s body, Rafael begins to suspect that this is what Sonny wanted all along.  

Sonny had wanted to feel Rafael from the inside, appreciating the hot clench of his ass as he worked.  

He’d wanted to have him on his back, Rafael’s low voice in his ear, telling him what to do.  How to move, how to press upward into the bundle of nerves that makes his eyes roll back.  How best to have Rafael a writhing mess under him, insisting that Sonny had done enough and that he was ready.  The word  _ please  _ on Rafael’s lips seems particularly lascivious to Sonny, who’s already hard again and twitching up with every syllable Rafael moans in his direction.   _ Please  _ is second only to  _ good _ , and Rafael feels vindicated at the way Sonny works even harder when praised.  The way he moves faster, deeper, with Rafael telling him how good he’s making him feel.  He would be willing to bet Sonny could come from that alone but the man himself disagrees, pulling his slick fingers from Rafael’s body and reaching for the strip of condoms at the bottom of the bed.  Rafael watches as he rolls one on, appreciating for the second time that night just how appealing the sight of Sonny fully aroused is.

Appreciation for sight ends when appreciation for  _ feel  _ begins.

Sonny lines himself up with Rafael’s entrance and presses in.  A slow, deep drag that opens him wider and fills him to the brim.  Beyond it, he realizes as Sonny bottoms out and his head starts to spin.  He’s got a death grip on Sonny’s waist and a heart that thuds on every beat but it doesn’t take long for him to adjust, canting his hips up to let Sonny know that it’s okay to move.  Luckily the slight hint is all he needs.  His hips retreat and he pulls out nearly completely before gliding back in.

“That’s it,” Rafael tells him on a gasp, arching up for more.  “Just like that.  More, Sonny.  Give me more.”

The encouragement is more than enough to get him moving, sparking a fire in him Rafael now knows was there all along.  Sonny is a quick study, learning with every slide of his body inside Rafael where to take it from there.  Rougher, fucking him into the mattress.  Slow, soft, so that Rafael has no choice but to piston his hips up for more.  Sonny seems to like that the most, withholding so that Rafael has no choice but to order him for more.  

Which, coincidentally, Rafael happens to like the most as well.

He doles out praise and instruction in variable intervals, only ever pleased with how well Sonny responds to them both.

“Faster.”

“Come on, Sonny.  Yes, just like that, deep like that.”

“Fuck!  Fuck, you’re going to make me come.”

“I said  _ faster _ .” 

It doesn’t take long for him to lose the rest of his script completely, leaving himself in Sonny’s hands.  Sonny’s giving, capable hands.  The hands that hold Rafael in place as he moves, thrusting in hard enough now that the bed has started to creak under them.  It’s getting harder for Rafael to stay still, harder for him to keep his eyes open.  His toes start to curl and the soles of his feet go numb, his ankles next.  Then the insides of his thighs.  He’s so close to coming that he can feel the sparks tripping low in his stomach at the head of his leaking cock, where he’s holding himself and starting to stroke.  Quick, tight circles that only add to the headrush Sonny is giving him.

“Sonny,” he gasps as the mattress rocks beneath him and he doesn’t know when all of this fell so far out of his control but it has now, with his unoccupied hand digging into the meat of Sonny’s ass as he moves.  With Rafael’s heart pounding so heavily in his chest, working its hardest to get out and run freely.

“Raf,” Sonny answers simply on little more than a whisper and it doesn’t bother him that his name has already been shortened to a term of endearment.

“Sonny, kiss me.  Please.”

The younger man obeys.  

He can’t help it.  

Rafael also likes to believe it’s because he wants to, especially with the way Sonny’s eyelids shutter for a moment before he leans down to give Rafael what he wants.  Teasing him with it first, a graze of lips that doesn’t satisfy as much as it frustrates before giving in.  Their lips meet, Sonny’s tongue curls up to brush at the roof of his mouth and Rafael rides the high while his eyes slip closed and he savors the taste of him on his tongue.  His end is still just out of reach but not for long, not with the way Sonny kisses him and the way he uses his hips to drive Rafael into the mattress. He pushes deep and Rafael has to break the kiss to get enough air while he back bows off the bed.

Rafael's head spins, his body clenches.  

He comes with Sonny buried so deep inside him he sees stars behind his closed eyes and all other sound is suppressed by the roar of blood in his ears.  Somewhere in the back of his mind he can feel the warmth of his release spilling onto his stomach, the harsh groans from Sonny’s mouth as he takes in the sight of Rafael surrendering himself to the onslaught.  All of that is put to the side as his body bucks and soars, as it tenses through the ungodly pressure ripping up from the base of his spine and rendering him breathless.  Sonny fucks him through it, pushes into the tight heat of Rafael’s body as he’s coming, before thrusting deep and going deadly still.  

As he’s coming down Rafael can feel Sonny throb and start to fill the condom that separates them.  The length of his body has gone taut, shaking with the strain of his orgasm as he jerks into Rafael’s body.  Head thrown back, damp hair curling wildly at his temples.  His hands have a death grip on Rafael’s hips and he looks forward to the bruises he’ll be wearing the next day, knowing even now that feeling them would bring him right back here.  To this moment.  To watching Sonny come so beautifully, touched only by the moonlight through the window and Rafael’s shaking hands.  

He feels empty once Sonny slips from his body and crawls to the side of the bed to remove the condom and throw it away.  Empty enough that his heart knocks against his ribs and his mouth opens against his will.

“Stay,” he breathes, even before the sweat has begun to evaporate from his skin.  Before he has the good sense to stop himself.  “Stay with me.”

Sonny nods, leaning over him again to press lazy kisses up his throat and across his jaw.  

“Of course, Raf,” he says gently.  “If you want me to.”

His lungs are still heaving and he's still mostly hard on Rafael’s thigh and there's nothing Rafael can do to prevent the way his hips insist on canting up into him.  Even exhausted, even thoroughly sated with his orgasm still humming animatedly in his veins.  He's rewarded with Sonny’s long fingers digging into his skin, grinding down slowly until he groans with oversensitivity and moves away. Rafael feels his absence instantly, remedied only by the deep kiss Sonny presses to his lips before telling him to hold on so he can clean them up.  

He even warms the water on the washcloth.  

It occurs to him as Sonny drags the rag over his skin that this is the first time in years that someone has bothered to care for  _ him  _ in the afterglow.  The thought makes his chest grow tight.  It makes him reach out for Sonny, grabbing a thin wrist for him to pull down.  The kiss he bestows on him is lengthy and indulgent, tinged with the knowledge that he won't have Sonny forever.  A fact Sonny seems to feel too, kissing him long and deep until their eyes are threatening to close and Rafael has to fight off a yawn. 

He watches without protest as Sonny finishes washing them, tossing the cloth into the trash can beside the bed before switching out the lights and climbing into bed next to him.  He pulls up the discarded blankets and settles in, sidling up close to Rafael's side. There's only one thing Rafael knows for sure as Sonny wraps a long arm over his middle and presses his lips to the curve of Rafael’s shoulder, slipping effortlessly into sleep while his lover’s mind spins. 

Rafael has never had a night like this one.

Rafael never will again.

 

**…**

 

Sonny sleeps better than he has in years, only waking once Rafael does.  Both of them stir away in the earlier hours of the morning, in the dark.  Finding each other in the bed with lips and hands before it occurs to them to even open their eyes.

Dawn arrives with the feeling of Rafael’s knees on either side of his hips, sinking down onto Sonny so slowly he wants to die.  It all Sonny can do to hold on, to cover the bruises on Rafael’s body from last night with his hands and let himself be ridden.  Rafael rocks them leisurely, deep and smooth, his bronze skin painted pink and gold as the sun rises through their windows.  Sonny can’t breathe and he can’t think and he can’t tear his eyes away from the man on top of him, the man who’s driving them both to the brink.  The man who takes Sonny into his body so lovingly that his eyes burn and his heart stutters in his chest.  

“Come, Sonny,” Rafael breathes once Sonny feels like he’s forgotten how to live beyond this moment.  “Come for me.”

He does.

He can’t help it.  

Rafael’s hips are under his fingers and his own hips arch up and he’s gone, fucking up into Rafael’s body until he can’t anymore and until he feels the hot stripes of Rafael’s release over the length of his torso.  Stripes that stick and start to dry as Rafael lowers himself down for a kiss.  A long one, tinged with desperation and quick intakes of breath as their hearts start to slow.  For the dozenth time since Sonny laid eyes on Rafael the night before, the moment feels surreal.  

Because it is, his mind likes to remind him.

Nothing about this was ever real.

The thought hurts and maybe it’s just his soft heart but something in the way Rafael touches him feels like more.  Maybe Sonny needs it to be more, since he’d always been in love with a partner prior to sex before now.  Before Rafael.  And maybe that’s the saddest thing about this, because this will be the hardest to lose.  This night that was bought and paid for by his stupid friend, who probably meant this as a joke without knowing what would come of it.  Relationships end and that’s find, but this one never started and he feels sick over it.

Sonny waits until Rafael’s has grown deep and even again and then he slips out.

Out of Rafael’s arms.

Into his clothes.

Out of the hotel room.

Into what he thinks will be the rest of his life, packing up his apartment and preparing to move most of his belongings back to Staten Island until he graduates from the Academy.  It distracts him for a while.  He ignores all his calls and texts from Richie just because he’s sure that he’ll punch him if he sees him, even if he knows this wasn’t Richie’s fault.  Richie had no idea who Rafael was, how the two of them would fit together.  How it would kill Sonny to sneak out and try to forget him.  He was just an idiot with money and a really odd sense of what it means to be supportive.

It takes a week but eventually Richie shows up, just as Sonny is finishing putting the last of his towels into a box and taping them shut.  

Sonny lets him in, even though he really doesn’t want to.

He listens while Richie makes small talk, going on about other friends and what new vacation his parents were planning.  Sonny tries to be nice, he really does, but eventually he can’t take it and snaps, “What do you want?  I’m trying to get this stuff done.”

“Who pissed in your Cheerios?  I just wanted to catch up, man.  We haven’t talked in awhile.  Since we left you in that bar.”

_ Since the night you paid someone to sleep with me. _

_ Since the night I figured it out and went through with it anyway. _

_ Since the night I met **him**. _

“Yeah, and?”

“Did it… did it not go well?”

This makes Sonny look up with a dark scowl on his face.  

“What are you talking about?”

“Listen, I know you know.  And I get that you’re probably pissed off at me and that’s fine.  But you’re okay, right?  I mean, the guy came and found me to give a refund,” Richie says and Sonny’s ears start ringing.  “Said it didn’t work out and I just want to make sure that we’re good, alright?  I didn’t mean anything by it, I just thought you’d want, you know before you left-”

“He gave the money back?” Sonny interrupts and Richie blinks in confusion.  

Rafael gave the money back.

Maybe-

“Yeah, last night.  Asked me for your number, too, but I told him I wasn’t really comfortable with that.”

Sonny scoffs in disbelief.

He was willing to offer up Sonny’s body but a cell number was too personal.

“Do you have his name?”

“Rafael something.  Started with a B.  Why?”

“Goddamn it,” he sighed and threw the tape roll down on the floor.  “That’s it?  That’s all you have?”

Rafael didn’t take the money.

“Well, he gave me his number to give to you but I didn’t think you- hey, what the hell?!” he sputters, indignant as Sonny closes in on him and grabs his shoulders.  

“Where is it?  What’s his number?”

“Christ, man.  Hold up.  Let me get it.”

_ Rafael didn’t take the money.   _

Richie hardly has time to hand over the slip of paper before Sonny is shoving him out the door, thanking him for stopping by and ordering to never pull that shit ever again.  He slides the lock back into place and grabs his cell phone from his pocket, typing in Rafael’s number faster than he can wonder what the hell he’s going to do if Rafael even responds.  Luckily he doesn’t have to wonder for long.  Rafael picks up on the second ring, voice wary.

“Hello?”

“Raf?  I mean Rafael.  It’s me… it’s, it’s Sonny.”

Christ, he’s such a loser.

Except Rafael sighs his name in return like it’s a relief and he can’t stop the grin from spreading over his face.

“Sonny,” he breathes and suddenly Sonny is right back in that hotel room, watching sunlight wash over Rafael’s naked body.  “I’m glad you called.”

“You didn’t take the money,” he says, eager.  “When we still, you know.”

“Slept together?” he asks with a laugh and Sonny nods despite knowing the fact that Rafael can’t see him do it.  “Yeah, I didn’t feel like I could take it.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to see you again,” Rafael replies and Sonny feels like his chest might burst.  “If you want to, of course.  You can also tell me to get lost and I wouldn’t blame you.”

Sonny didn’t answer.

Couldn’t.  

He was too busy smiling.  

Sadly Rafael took that as a negative and so he jumped to add, “I know you mentioned that you didn’t want to date before going to the Academy, but-”

“Yes.”

“What?”

“Yes, I want to see you too.”

Rafael laughed but somehow Sonny knew he was happy.  Didn’t know how, but he did.  He was as happy as Sonny was.  

“When are you free?” Sonny asks and it doesn’t occur to him until that moment that Rafael might be working. 

His work being sex with other people.

“I, uh.  I’m not actually doing anything tonight.  Or any night, for a while,” Rafael tells him and Sonny can detect a hint of nerves over the phone.  “I’m retired from that, Sonny.  There won’t be anyone else.  I start with the Brooklyn DA in a few weeks and I want to leave that behind me.  Start fresh.”

“Name the time and place then, counselor,” Sonny says seriously.  “I’ll be there.”

Rafael laughs.  

“You’re the first one to call me that.”

“Not the last, though, I bet,” he replies and spends the next five minutes inviting Rafael over to his almost empty apartment.  Knowing there would be boxes everywhere, knowing there would be dust bunnies in every corner and also knowing, somehow, that Rafael wouldn’t care.  

The man himself was there two hours later, and Sonny was right.

He didn’t care.

 

**…**

 

_ Fifteen Years Later _

 

When Sonny finally crashed into his desk, it was nearing two in the morning and his neck was killing him.  His pants were too tight, his shirt was too open, and his hair had way more gel in it than he typically preferred.  He’d never felt more exposed in his life with Rollins and Fin smirking over at him but in a few minutes he’d be too tired to care.  All he needed was for the Lieu to come in and tell him good work and send his ass home.  It had been a long week - going undercover as a hooker was harder work than he’d expected, actually - and all he wanted to do was take an hour-long shower and go to sleep.

“My, how the tables have turned.”

That voice.

Goddamn it.

He opens his eyes and Rafael is right there.  Smirking in his three-piece suit and looking at Sonny’s skin-tight getup with a wolfish smile.  

“Save it,” Sonny sighs.  “I’m too tired.  Make fun of me tomorrow.”

“What’s there to make fun of?”

“I’m sure you’ve got a list in one of your pockets.”

“I wouldn’t commit something so useless to paper.”

“Oh, good.  Then you’ve memorized it.”

“Where did you even find that shirt?” Rafael asks.  “Is it Bella’s?”

“I’m almost certain I said I was too tired for this.”

“Come on, then.  I’ll buy you a drink.”

“Too tired for that too.”

“How about I take you home, then?” Rafael offers and his voice is soft now as he perches on the corner of Sonny’s desk, reaching out to cover his hand.  The slim gold band on his finger catches the light and Sonny’s still not used to how happy it makes him - not even after ten years on Rafael’s finger.

“Home,” Sonny sighs.  “Home sounds good.”

“Olivia says you’re free to go,” Rafael tells him and Sonny groans his pleasure and pulls himself out of the chair.

“Oh, thank God.  Yes.  Let’s get out of here.”

Rafael waits while Sonny collects his things and waves goodbye to his coworkers, pointedly ignoring Rollins’ scoff as he holds the top of his shirt closed.  They’re halfway to the elevators when he feels Rafael’s hand on the small of his back and his mouth at his ear.  

“This is a good look for you,” he murmurs against Sonny’s ear and he can’t help the mild shiver that works its way down his neck. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.  I’d love to take you home.”

“What a coincidence, I was just telling you how much I wanted to go home.”

They load into the elevator and the doors close just in time for Rafael to graze his teeth over Sonny’s earlobe and whisper,

“How much for the night?”

“For you?” Sonny asks, tilting his head down to steal a kiss.  “It’s on the house.”

 


End file.
